


An End and a Beginning

by LovingGwendolaj



Category: Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Actors, Braime - Freeform, F/M, Love, Romance, Sex, gwendolaj - Freeform, role play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:07:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingGwendolaj/pseuds/LovingGwendolaj
Summary: ***this work is RPF but will contain acted out Braime scenes within the storyAs soon as the UK opens to international travel Nik flies to London. He must quarantine for 14 days, but day 1 brings a visitor to his door. From the moment she arrives their conversation heads down a strange and interesting path, leading to an ending and a new beginning.“Act out the rest of the love scene with me,” she said, sounding more sure of herself than she’d been since the conversation shifted in this new, curious direction. “It bothered me that all we got was that kiss, as if Jaime and Brienne weren’t important enough to warrant a proper love scene.”
Relationships: Gwendoline Christie/Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 36
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This honestly didn’t go the way I was originally planning. But as I was writing I got to thinking there was nothing special or new about the direction I was going. It was simply a new setting for the same thing that’s been done before. I was going to just scrap the whole thing when this new idea came to me. 
> 
> Here’s the first chapter of probably 3. It will be short, but I just didn’t want to cram it all into a one shot. 
> 
> I hope you guys like the concept I came up with (in the middle of the night as usual). I often get ideas in the night that seem great then but as the day wears on I start to wonder if I was having late night delusions and the idea is actually ridiculous 😂😂

_Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. - Semisonic_

I have to go. Gotta meet with Joe. Get Ill Kippers back on track. That’s what he’d told her, but they both knew it was a lie. There was another reason he was flying to London the second the UK opened up to international travel and it was something they didn’t talk about. 

14 days of self quarantine. Those were the rules. Two long weeks alone in a hotel room before he was finally free to roam the city. It was going to feel longer than the three months it had been since he was able to leave his own country. 

He was just thinking of ordering some room service when there was a knock on the door. Nik curiously wandered over and pulled it open. The flood of emotion when he saw who was standing there left him momentarily breathless. “You’re not supposed to be here,” he said, as he moved aside and let her in. The door clicked shut and he turned to face her. In a heartbeat she was in his arms and for the first time since mid March he finally felt like everything was going to be okay. 

“I couldn’t stand you being this close and not coming to see you,” she said, hugging him just as tightly as he was hugging her. “I’ve missed you so much.” Nik reached up and touched the hair hanging down the middle of her back, stroking it gently. He’d never been able to reach it so easily when they hugged and it made him smile. She’d had to keep her hair short for a long time to play Brienne and he loved that she was able to grow it to whatever length she wanted now. 

“I’ve missed you too,” he replied, nuzzling his face into her neck so he could take in her scent. The ease and comfort of their embrace made him think about how infrequently they hugged each other. It was really only a handful of times in all the years they had known one another and there was no good reason they didn’t do it more often. Early on it seemed to be an assumption on her part that he wasn’t much of a hugger, but by the time she found out differently there was this huge elephant in the room that was always between them - their attraction to one another that they were trying desperately to hide from the world, and maybe even from each other for a long while. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he sighed, finally releasing her. 

Gwen reached out and touched the stubble on his face and Nik closed his eyes. He wasn’t the most romantic or sentimental guy at the best of times, but right then he could barely hold back all the things he needed to say to her. If he let them all come flying out at once he was going to terrify her with such a vast change in personality, so he dug deep and kept himself in check.

“You’re not mad that I came here?” she asked. “I mean, not that I really care what you think anyway,” she drawled. 

“Of course I’m not mad. I’ve never been great at following the rules anyway,” Nik replied with a shrug. “I actually think I did a damn good job for most of the pandemic, so a little slip up now was bound to happen.” 

Gwen smirked. “It’s really not your slip up, it’s mine.” 

“I let you in, didn’t I?” he shrugged. “We’re in this together.” 

“Oh god,” she moaned. “If I hear ‘we’re in this together’ one more time.” He laughed. It really was an overused catch phrase lately. 

“What about ‘this too shall pass’ or ‘everything happens for a reason’?” Nik asked. 

Gwen groaned. “Yes those too. I much prefer ‘this fucking sucks’ and ‘I want my life back’ but we have to be squeaky clean celebrities with our perfect images, providing words of encouragement, always happy and shiny.” 

“If I’ve learned anything the last few weeks - we’re fucked no matter what we do anyway. You say and do everything right and there are still people who are going to tell you you’re wrong and a waste of skin.” With so much going on in the world he had tried to do his part and use his platform wisely, as always, but in such a sensitive climate, with racial tension and economic crisis in many areas, people were just fed up, particularly with those who they believed had it ‘easy.’ It was understandable and he knew there was nothing he could do to stop the hate he would receive - so he just continued to educate himself and use his privilege to inform - and let people say what they needed to say. 

“I tell you that all the time,” she teased. “Maybe not the ‘waste of skin’ part, but it brings me such jubilation to point out when you’re wrong.” 

“Sometimes I do it on purpose just so you can enjoy yourself,” he joked. She laughed, a long, loud, happy cackle and it filled his heart with joy. “Fuck me - I’ve even missed that damn annoying laugh of yours.” 

“You love it,” she said, giving him a harmless sneer. 

“I do,” Nik admitted. “Hey, I was just going to order some food. Are you hungry?” 

“When am I not hungry?” she laughed. “I feel like all I’ve done for the past two months is eat. Why stop now?” Gwen took off her shoes and made herself comfortable on the little loveseat, with her feet on the glass coffee table, while he ordered them dinner. 

There was a knock at the door a few minutes after he ordered. “It can’t possibly be ready that fast,” he muttered. When he opened the door there was a suitcase sitting there and a bellman was already walking off down the hallway. 

“Oh good it’s here,” Gwen said from behind him. 

“This is yours?” He turned, pointing at the suitcase. 

“Looks like I’m going to have to stay and self quarantine too,” she shrugged. “If you have the virus I’ve exposed myself - whoopsie.” 

A grin spread across his face. “You had this all planned?” He grabbed her luggage and brought it inside. “What about Giles?” 

“I told him I was coming here to see you. He rolled his eyes and said he’d see me in a couple of weeks,” she explained. “I’m sure he’ll be quite happy to have a break from me. I’ve been miserable company. And he can have a friend or two over while I’m gone.” Nik never pretended to understand their arrangement. In fact, he never bothered to try because when he did he found himself annoyed at how it seemed like they both used each other. She had tried to explain it and he knew she didn’t see it that way at all, so he just let it go and decided to approach it with a ‘if she’s happy, I’m happy for her’ kind of attitude. 

They made some small talk, catching up a bit, while waiting for the food and then chatted easily all through dinner once it arrived. While he cleaned up the dishes afterwards and set them in the hallway she was looking at her social media - as usual. She was an Instagram addict. 

“Look at how cute we are. God I miss red carpets,” Gwen moaned, flashing her phone towards him. It was a picture of the two of them staring at each other from the 2019 Emmy Awards. 

“What’s the caption say,” he asked. 

She smirked and chuckled a bit. “It says ‘They’re totally banging. Fight me’.” 

Nik leaned his head back on the love seat and turned towards her. “Ever think we should just give them what they want?” 

She gave him a look of shock and disgust. “Are you saying we should fuck just because fans already think we are?” 

He immediately tried to take it back. “No, that’s not what I meant. That came out all wrong. What I’m saying is, the guilt and shame is already on us and we haven’t done anything yet. All the gossip columns, the fans who assume we’re having an affair - I’ve even seen cast mates giving us the side eye.” 

She was still looking at him like he was insane. “I’m still hearing the same thing. You want to fuck because people already think we’re fucking.” 

Her words sounded angry, like he’d hurt her and Nik realized it was finally time to open up. “I want to fuck you because I’m in love with you,” he said gently. 

Her face softened a bit, but it wasn’t the response he was expecting. “I know you do Nik. I’ve known for a long time. And I love you too. But you’re still married.” 

Literally the only thing that registered from what she said was that she loved him too. “You love me?” he muttered, feeling a little lightheaded from all the intense emotions swirling inside him. 

“Oh come on, you must have known,” she said. Nik shook his head. “Well, it’s true. But don’t get all cocky about it or I’ll have to deflate your ego.” She rolled her eyes and he knew she was about to use one of her usual defense mechanisms. “Besides, what does it even matter? Like I said, you’re still married.” 

“This isn’t the way I planned for this to happen,” he mumbled, speaking his thoughts out loud. “I messed up. I should have said all of this first.”

“All of what?” Gwen still had her guard up, but she looked intrigued. 

“My marriage,” he started. “At this point I’m still married on paper, but it’s not a real marriage anymore.” It surprised him how easy that was to say. He didn’t feel any pain or shame at all, but the fact he felt nothing brought on some guilt. “I really tried during this quarantine but I just don’t feel the same anymore.”

“You sure looked like a happy family on Instagram,” she sneered bitterly, crossing her arms defensively. Gwen could be almost childish about things sometimes, like a kid throwing a tantrum, particularly when she didn’t get her own way. It didn’t bother him, because it was just the way she was and he loved every part of her - the good and the bad. He came at these moods of hers from the perspective that at least she was being honest and not trying to hide her true feelings to save face. 

“We are a happy family, yes, definitely,” he agreed. “But not in the traditional sense any longer. I, uh, how do I explain this? I love Nukaka but it’s like the same love I feel for my girls, or my sisters. It’s not the way a man should love his wife.” He slid a little closer. “I felt more in my heart when I opened the door and saw your face than I have felt for her in over a decade.” Maybe it was cruel of him to actually admit that, but it was the truth. And he was only saying it to Gwen, who he told everything to. 

“Dammit Nikolaj,” she hissed, covering her face with her hands for a second. “Do you have any fucking clue what I’ve gone through during my time in isolation?” He was taken back by the edge in her tone. It suddenly felt like he’d done something very, very wrong. “I swore I was going to end our friendship because I couldn’t handle being just friends any longer. And then I went into a deep depression. I was losing my mind at the thought of removing you from my life.” The pain in her voice was deep and intense. His stomach started to knot with anxiety. “So you know what I did? I took it all back. I told myself it was a stupid idea. It was a moment of weakness. I knew I had to see you again because the way my heart ached was unbearable.” She paused for a second and rubbed her face again. “Then I saw some of those happy family moments and the cycle started all over again. Almost three months of this bipolar like behavior. Deep down to the lowest of lows, then right back up to the highest of highs when I changed my mind.” 

“I’m so sorry you went through that,” he whispered. “You should have told me. Maybe I could have spared you some pain.” 

“How?” She snapped. 

He shrugged. “Maybe I would have come to my conclusion sooner.” 

“What conclusion?” Nik felt bad as her tone softened yet again. He was putting her through that same up and down wave of emotion she’d been dealing with for weeks. 

“This pandemic made me see that I’ve been living a lie for too long. I tried hard at first to make it work, but the last three or four weeks all I could think about was when it was all going to end so I could get here and see you,” he admitted. “I felt guilty at first, like maybe I was being a bad father or something. It took a while and a lot of thought, but I finally realized that being a good dad and being a good husband are two separate things. I’m great at one of them and I suck at the other. I can still be an amazing dad even if I ask my wife for a divorce.” 

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Gwen whispered. She looked a bit terrified and all he wanted to do was hug her and make her feel better. 

“I wasn’t positive until the second you showed up at my door. But when I saw you - the way it felt - I knew for sure that it’s what I have to do. It’s the right thing for everyone - especially you,” he finished softly. 

“Why me?” She looked bewildered. 

Well so far he hadn’t scared her away, it was time to be even more honest. “Because I’ve wasted a fucking decade of your life, a decade that we could have been together if it wasn’t for my ego, my pride, my guilt. I always made it about me when I should have made it about you. You’re at the center of my universe and it’s time I started acting like it.” 

There was a pause. A really, really long pause. The more time that ticked the more he was sure she was getting ready to run. But when she finally spoke she surprised him yet again. “Nik, you deserve to know that there’s something I’ve been dealing with, along with everything else. Something that’s put me in almost 2 years of therapy.” 

He made the connection right away. He knew she had struggled deeply with the ending of Game of Thrones, well particularly the way it ended for their characters. He also knew his own coping mechanism had caused her a lot of pain and he felt really bad about that. “What can I do to help? I know I made it worse for you Gwen and I’m so sorry. I was just so raw and disgusted. The only thing I could think to do was to convince myself it all made sense. You pretend for long enough and you start to believe it I guess.” 

“Do you believe it? Do you really? In your heart are you absolutely fine with what happened?” The hurt and pain in her eyes was almost too much to bear. This had affected her in ways he would never understand, so the only thing he could do was try to support her. 

“You know I don’t. You know if I had my way Jaime and Brienne would have been the one true lovestory of the entire series.” He hadn’t admitted that to anyone, not even her. He’d pretended and rehearsed his response for so long it just became second nature. But actually admitting the truth was freeing and he was happy it was happening with her. 

She nodded slowly as if she had needed his admission to continue with what she was about to say. “My therapist tried for a year to get me to let go and put it all in my past but Brienne is a part of me and I don’t want to lose that. I always want her in my heart. I know you probably don’t understand that. It’s all just a role to you. But playing Brienne changed my life in so many ways. She’s special and I can’t just shove that aside.”

“I might not feel the same way about the characters I play, but I do understand what you’re saying. A lot of actors are exactly like you. I’m just not wired that way,” he said honestly. 

“In a desperate moment I actually tried hypnosis,” she said, giving him a bit of a smile. “Turns out I cling to her too deeply, and I’m also too stubborn for the hypnotic suggestions to get through.” 

Nik laughed. “That does not surprise me at all.” 

“That was when I decided I don’t want to let her go, so my therapist suggested a new technique recently where I write the ending I wanted and convince myself that’s the truth because I know her best.” Nikolaj nodded. He knew for a fact that a lot of fans had coped in a similar way. They made their own ending in their mind to erase the one the hated. It seemed a bit delusional to him, but when he thought about it, his own coping strategy was pretty similar. Instead of changing the ending he pretended it was great when it wasn’t. Either way, it involved changing a narrative. 

“Did you do it? Did you write a new ending?” He asked. 

“Informally, yes,” she nodded. “Not on paper, but I’ve thought a lot about things I would have changed.” Gwen paused and studied him for a moment. She seemed nervous about something. 

“What is it?” He asked softly. 

“This is going to sound insane, but now that we’re here and things are changing between us - uh - I have an idea.” She paused and he watched her take a long deep breath. “I was hoping you would help me bring it to life and make it real,” she whispered. She seemed so scared to ask him and it wasn’t like her at all. It was a reminder of just how deeply this had all affected her. 

“What do you need from me? Anything. I’ll do anything you want to make this better for you,” he assured her. 

“Act out the rest of the love scene with me,” she said, sounding more sure of herself than she’d been since the conversation shifted in this new, curious direction. “It bothered me that all we got was that kiss, as if Jaime and Brienne weren’t important enough to warrant a proper love scene.” 

“Act it out,” he repeated. “Like we would on set? Or -“ His voice trailed off. 

“You know exactly what I’m asking,” Gwen said. “I want to make love for real but in character.” 

“You want our first time together to be in character? Like role play?” This was a strange turn of events from where they had started some time ago. 

“Not role play. Ahhh, I don’t know how to explain it.” Her eyes were pleading with him to understand. “Jaime and Brienne brought us together and I feel like we owe it to them to give them a proper ending. Am I even making any sense?” She sighed. “I just - I need closure for Brienne before I can move on. It sounds insane, I know, but this whole thing really fucked me up in ways I’m embarrassed to talk about, even with you. But I’m trying.” He reached out and touched her knee reassuringly. “I need an end to this before I can have a new beginning. Do you understand that? Will you help me?” 

“I’ll do anything for you. Center of my universe, remember?” He said with a smile. Nik shifted his voice to Jaime’s accent. “So just tell me what you need Lady Brienne.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit challenging to write, with the role playing aspect. But I figured it worked best to write it with the internal dialogue Jaime would have with some moments where Nik breaks in. 
> 
> I’m actually happy with how it turned out so I really hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Next up the last chapter - Nik and Gwen’s “first time.”

“Before we start, will you give me the gist of what you hoped Brienne would get out of her relationship with Jaime? Just so I know where to go with things,” he asked. 

“Of course,” she nodded. “I feel like Brienne deserved to be the woman Jaime chose to be with of his own free will. She didn’t force herself on him or expect anything from him, yet given the opportunity she chose to have sex with him,” Gwen began. “I love that it was her choice, but when she begged him to stay and he still broke her heart - it didn’t fit anything that came before it in those first three and a half episodes. The way you played Jaime - he was smitten with her. He was jealous of Tormund. He went out of his way to impress her. He wanted to make her happy. Jaime leaving was shock value, pure and simple. It was a betrayal to 6 seasons of character development and the relationship between them.” Nik nodded. Everything she was saying made sense, even if he hadn’t allowed himself to voice any of it out loud. “Jaime and Brienne defied all odds until the moment he left. She never needed a man, but deep down Jaime knew even from the start that she wanted to have the experience of being a woman. Unfortunately, Dan and David believed it was all about sex, when it’s so much more. A woman wants to be put first and loved. I have no doubt Jaime loved her, and maybe I could be convinced his leaving was due to self loathing, but Brienne saw past all the horrible things he had done. She understood and she forgave him. All he had to do was choose her over Cersei, and over himself.” 

“I love listening to you analyze these things,” he complimented her. “Your insight is brilliant.” 

“Did you just praise me?” She drawled. “High praise from the great Nikolaj Coster-Waldau?”

“Shut up,” he laughed. “And continue.”

She smirked at him. “I guess that’s mostly everything. But the important thing is to go with your gut and what feels right. Get into character, but speak from the heart.” 

“Okay then, let’s do this. Where would you like to start?” he asked. 

“From the kiss I think. Maybe the lines leading up to it and taking off our shirts.” Nik nodded and they moved to the middle of the room, facing one another. He took a deep breath and he became Jaime Lannister. 

“I don’t want things growing on me,” he said. “How about Tormund Giantsbane, has he grown on you? He was very sad when you left.” 

“You sound quite jealous,” she replied, her tone soft, almost demure. It threw him off guard, also because it was accurate. 

“I do, don’t I?” he huffed. He started to struggle one handed with his shirt. “It’s bloody hot in here.” 

She let him grapple with it for a moment, before she finally swatted his hand away. “Oh, move aside.” As she worked on getting his shirt off he reached for hers. “What are you doing?” she asked, looking shocked and a bit nervous. 

“Taking your shirt off,” he replied matter of factly. She moved his hand away and their eyes locked. She let go of his shirt and started to undo her own until it hung open. His heart was pounding already, wildly. The burn and ache in his groin intensified from the anticipation. She moved back to his shirt and pulled it off over his head. The room didn’t feel any cooler with the clothing off though. He swallowed hard as she started to take her shirt off too, trying to keep his eyes from wandering, even though he desperately wanted to see her body once again. As her shirt fell away he looked quickly, he couldn’t help himself, but immediately drew his gaze back to her eyes. “I’ve never slept with a Knight before,” he said, feeling a buzz of desire vibrate through his entire body. 

“I’ve never slept with anyone before,” she admitted softly. He already knew the truth, but hearing her say it made it so much more real. 

“Then you have to drink, those are the rules,” he said. 

“I told you -” He didn’t let her finish. He didn’t care about the game anymore - all he wanted were those lips on his and her breasts rubbing against his skin. He rose just slightly onto his toes and he attacked her mouth, moving his hand to her face. The passion he felt was insane and he had to mentally calm himself and remind himself this was a first for her - every single part of it. She was skilled at a lot of things, but this was all new and it was up to him to guide her. 

Yet she still surprised him from time to time, just like she had when she took off their shirts. It was a reminder that she wanted it as much as he did and the fact that she wanted to be the one to initiate things made it even more special. It was her that reached for his pants first and it was her that took them off of him, followed by her own. She undressed them both and all he had to do was watch as she exposed every inch of her creamy white skin to him. 

He reached out and pulled her body against his, letting her feel his erection pressing against her. His dick lightly brushing her smooth skin was so erotic and sexy. He wanted her - badly. He resisted the chivalrous urge to ask if she was sure this was what she wanted because she had already made her choice and made him well aware of her desires. He didn’t want to diminish her bravery in any way by making it seem like he wasn’t absolutely sure of her intentions. 

He kissed her again, enjoying the warmth of her mouth and the submissive way she responded, which contrasted nicely with how she’d just undressed them both. Nik struggled for a moment, breaking character in his mind. Gwen was such an incredible actress. If they had been given the opportunity to complete the love scene she would have killed it, perfectly displaying all the key nuances necessary to make the scene fully in character. No one understood Brienne like she did. He forced himself back into character after making a quick decision as to how Jaime would make love to virgin Brienne. Slow and tender, very romantic, he decided. Nik wanted to taste her pussy, so badly, but that would have to wait until it was him and Gwen, not Jaime and Brienne. Not that he didn’t think Jaime wouldn’t have happily gone down on her, but it just didn’t seem quite right for their first time, and her very first time. 

He started to explore her body with his left hand. Nik had made a mental note that to stay in character he couldn’t use his right hand at all, because he didn’t have one. He grabbed her ass and squeezed, swallowing the moan that escaped her throat and danced along his tongue. He pulled his mouth from hers and bent his head to find a nipple. He sucked lightly and she moaned again, causing her body to move slightly, rubbing against his throbbing shaft. 

While he sucked on her nipple he moved his hand from her ass and put it between her legs instead. When his fingers grazed her slit and he felt how wet she was it was his turn to moan. “Fuck,” he groaned loudly as his fingers sunk into her hot, slick folds. 

She gasped and he felt her body shudder slightly. She was so turned on - of course she was - this part of her body had been neglected her entire life and now she was giving it to him. He was the lucky man that got to help her feel something she’d never felt before. He pushed his fingers deeper, slipping them up into her pussy as far as he could reach. She leaned back instinctively and let him push even deeper and then pull out and push back in, mimicking what he would do with his cock very soon. 

She gasped again and started to pant. He watched her face, enjoying the way she was so expressive with her arousal, both in her expressions and the little sounds she was making. He continued to finger her pussy until he couldn’t take it anymore. When he pulled his hand away her eyes flew open and she actually looked a bit angry. He knew she didn’t really have a concept of an orgasm, but he had a feeling she might have been getting close and was distraught that he’d removed her source of pleasure. 

He gave her a smile and then led her to the bed. He eased her onto her back and gave himself a minute to look over her beautiful body. Once again he broke character in his mind, he couldn’t help it. He hoped Gwen wouldn’t notice, but looking down at her, laying there naked, ready for him - it was something he’d thought about a million times, especially lately. He’d even jerked off thinking about this very moment. While it was supposed to be Jaime and Brienne, it was inevitably him and Gwen too. When he penetrated her it would be their first time. Suddenly he found it hard to breathe. He fucking loved her. 

Nik took a deep breath and did his best to approach the rest of the encounter as Jaime. He gently pushed her legs apart and knelt between them. He looked into her eyes and he brushed her with the tip of his cock. She was so slick the head of his penis slipped in with very little pressure, and once he got a little taste there was no holding back. He shoved the rest of the way in with a deep, deliberate stroke and he watched her face as her eyes grew wild with what he could only assume was an overwhelming feeling of pleasure. The feeling was mutual as he struggled not to move so she could have a minute to get used to the feel of something so foreign, yet insanely pleasurable. “Are you okay?” he whispered. After a brief pause she finally nodded and he slowly pulled almost all the way out and then pushed back in as deep as he could. Her face twisted with ecstasy and she whimpered, wrapping her strong legs around, somehow pulling him even deeper inside her. That was another one of those moments where her instinct surprised him in an amazing way. 

He moved in and out of her slowly, in a gentle, tender and loving motion. Keeping it slow was important because he was barely holding himself together as it was. A few quick, fast strokes and it would be over for him. Thankfully it wasn’t long before he felt her body start to tense and her nails dig into his back. “Faster,” she gasped. He smiled because he knew that was Gwen and it made him feel better about the few times he’d already broken character. 

He gripped her hips and started to move faster, then realized he was using his right hand and quickly let go, using just his left for leverage. It took only a few strokes to push her over the edge and a few more, mixed with the pulsating of her pussy clenching his dick to shove him over too. Jaime and Brienne wouldn’t have worried about pregnancy or had access to birth control so he pushed the thought away and came inside her - hoping his irresponsibility wouldn’t result in a difficult situation. 

He stayed inside her for a long time after, letting his dick grow softer and smaller until it started to slip out of her pussy. He just couldn’t bring himself to break that union until he absolutely had to. Finally he rolled off and laid down beside her, staring into her beautiful blue eyes. He leaned in and kissed her, as his mind swirled with the reality of what had just happened. In character it was incredible, out of character it was also incredible, but somewhat shocking that it had finally happened after all this time. 

For quite some time they just stared at one another, until finally she spoke, sounding a bit nervous. “Now that the wine is wearing off - do you have regrets?” She asked. 

He shook his head. It hurt that she would think he only slept with her because he’d been drinking. “It wasn’t about the wine. I just needed it to find some courage.” 

She eyed him suspiciously. “I’ve never known you to be short on courage Ser Jaime.” 

“Never in battle,” he admitted. “But matters of the heart are a different story.” 

She was silent for a moment but he could see her eyes grow a little brighter. “So - will you be staying?” she asked hesitantly, as if she really didn’t want to know the answer. 

“Well your room is a lot more comfortable than the one I was in - and much warmer too.” She gave him a look and he laughed. He really had given her a hard time about how warm the room was, but he was thankful for it as the night got even colder. 

“I meant staying here, at Winterfell? Or will you go back to King’s Landing now that our battle with the Night King is over?” He could see the pain return to her eyes just from voicing the question out loud. 

“I should like to stay - if Sansa will have me of course,” he replied. He saw a glimmer of hope, but it was quickly replaced with one of disbelief. “You don’t believe I’m going to stay?” She shrugged slightly. “Well then I guess I have to prove it to you, don’t I?”

“Jaime - it’s fine -” She started to say, as he got out of bed and walked around to her side. He dropped to a knee. “Wh - what - are you doing?” 

He looked up at her. "It was an honor and a pleasure to fight beside you, under your command and I shall like to do so for the rest of my life.” Her eyes grew moist immediately. He continued. “I am yours, my lady," he said softly, looking directly into her eyes. "I will shield your back and give my life for yours, if it comes to that. I swear it by the old gods and the new.” He licked his lips. “I know you certainly don’t need my protection by any means, but I figured by swearing myself to you you’ll know that I don’t ever plan to leave your side.” 

A tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another and then one from the other eye. She reached out and touched his face, stroking his jaw lightly. “And I vow that you shall always have a place by my hearth and meat and mead at my table, and pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you into dishonor. I swear it by the old gods and the new." 

She bent her head and they kissed. In some strange way it felt like a marriage. Maybe that would come someday, but they weren’t there quite yet. When she pulled back there were tears all over her face so he reached up to brush them away. “That’s exactly how it should have ended,” she whispered and he knew Gwen was back. 

“Did it help? Are you sure it’s what you wanted?” he asked, standing up to sit beside her on the bed. 

“It was perfect. I don’t know how you came up with that idea, but it made so much sense for them. It wasn’t a conventional oath, or the way it traditionally goes, but it just worked for them,” she gushed. “It made Brienne understand that he wasn’t going to leave her - he chose her. She didn’t have to beg, she just had to be herself and he loved her anyway.” Nik was relieved. He just did what felt right in the moment like she’d asked from the start and thankfully it all worked out. “I’m glad you didn’t go too cliche like having him propose to her. While that still would have worked - this was just so much better. The throwback to Brienne’s own vows to others - and now someone who loved her actually pledging their life to her,” Gwen sighed happily. “It was everything.” 

“Is there anything else you need? Did you want to continue the scene at all?” he asked, wanting to make sure she’d gotten everything she needed to start to heal. 

“No, I’m good. It was exactly the closure I needed - the ending that Brienne and Jaime both deserved. I don’t know if you agree - “

Nik interrupted her. “Everything we just acted out came from my heart. Don’t ever doubt that.” 

“Thank you,” she said, smiling at him. “Would you mind terribly if we just slept on it tonight? And tomorrow maybe we can start figuring out what our future might look like?” she asked. “I just feel like that ending deserves some time to settle and harden - set itself in stone.” 

“Absolutely, I couldn’t agree more,” he replied, walking back over to his side of the bed. “I actually think Jaime would want to snuggle all night long,” he added, giving her a smile. “He’s definitely a little spoon kind of guy,” Nik continued, rolling his back to her. When he felt her slide closer, slip an arm around him and press her body against his, he sighed happily. 

“Is this for Jaime? Or you?” she whispered in his ear. 

“Meh,” he shrugged. “We’re one in the same. Night Lady Brienne.” 

“Night Ser Jaime.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy the conclusion to this one - the Gwendolaj first time :)

When Nik woke Gwen was laying there looking at him. “It’s about time you woke up,” she muttered in her usual teasing, annoyed tone.

“Must be the high thread count and plush pillows,” he said with a soft smile. He couldn’t believe how happy it made him to wake up and see that face, those eyes - gazing at him. 

Gwen tucked her hands under her head like she was planning to stay that way for a while, but her words suggested differently. “Come shower with me.” It was somewhere between a demand and a question, or maybe a question he wasn’t allowed to say no to - typical Gwen. He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “It’s not like that. It’s just a shower.” 

“Oh it’s never just a shower,” he chuckled. 

“Fair enough,” she gave in. “But no actual sex,” she warned, rolling away from him to get out of bed. 

“I’ll try,” he muttered. He propped up on his elbow and watched her ass as she walked towards the bathroom. The sway of her hips, those long legs, her messy hair hanging down her back - he felt his dick start to stir and made himself look away before peeing was going to take a yoga move to accomplish. 

Nik could hear the shower running and from his angle and a well placed mirror he could see that she was brushing her teeth. He gave her a minute and when he saw she was done and headed for the shower he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He quickly went pee and then followed her lead and brushed his teeth. 

When he stepped into the shower she was rinsing the shampoo out of her hair. Nik stood there and watched, feeling a random splash of water here and there. She was so sexy, but it was more than just a naked woman in the shower sexy - Gwen had a confident air about her and there was also the natural chemistry between them - and it just made his attraction to her even stronger. 

When all the shampoo was out of her hair she opened her eyes and reached for her conditioner, brushing against his hip with her arm as she leaned for it. He watched her put some into her hand and smooth it onto her long blonde hair, then rake it through with her fingers. “Your turn,” she said, reaching for him. Nik let her move him under the hot water and smiled when she touched his hair, making sure it was thoroughly wet. Next she tugged him out from under the spray and turned him around. Moments later he felt something on his head and realized she was washing his hair. 

Nik closed his eyes and focussed on the feel. He’d always enjoyed having his hair washed when he was at the salon, but this was even more incredible because it was Gwen. It was so intimate and erotic to feel her fingers moving through his hair, and her nails lightly scratching and massaging his scalp. He’d managed to keep his boner in check until then, but he was way too turned on to fight it any longer. When she turned him around to rinse she looked down and raised her eyebrows. Nik just shrugged and smiled, then closed his eyes as he stuck his head back under the water again. 

Once all the shampoo was out he reached for the soap and washed his body, taking a little extra time to really lather up his shaft while Gwen watched. He saw that she was biting her lip so he continued a little longer, really giving her a good show. Knowing that she was watching was making his cock throb in his hand. He was well accustomed to jerking off in the shower and if he was being honest, more than once he’d done while thinking about her - so having her right there, naked and horny, was literally the stuff fantasies are made of. 

Nik stroked himself a couple more times then let go of his shaft and rinsed off the soap. It was time to stop before he got too close to the point of no return. He switched spots with her and let Gwen rinse her hair. While her eyes were closed he picked up the soap again but this time he reached for her body. He saw the smile on her face as he rubbed the slippery bar over her collarbones and then down the middle of her body, between her breasts. 

He stayed modest at first, avoiding any of her erogenous zones, but eventually he went for her breasts, fondling them as he rubbed soap all over. He could hear her loud moan over the rush of the water and echoey shower stall when he pinched one of her nipples. The sound did things to him, wild things, causing a feral vibration to course through his body. Nik spun her and pressed her up against the cold shower wall. She gasped from the cool tiles touching her skin, but she didn’t resist him. 

Slowly he moved the bar of soap to the crack of her ass and he lightly started to rub, getting it good and lathered up before probing deeper and moving his hand between her ass cheeks. He rubbed and she moaned again, which fired him up even more. He leaned into her, bearing his weight against her body and then fingered her anus, wishing it was his dick instead. He didn’t penetrate her, just played with it, over and over until she was writhing against him, practically begging for it. He gave her a little tease, just a slight increase of pressure until he was on the verge of penetration and then he pulled his hand away completely and took a small step back. “Fuck you,” she hissed, trying to turn, but Nik moved her back in the direction he wanted. 

He leaned into her ear as he reached around the front of her with the soap. “There’s still one more place we haven’t washed yet,” he growled. He thoroughly scrubbed her pussy, making sure to get up in there with his fingers, over and over, until she was leaned back against his chest and moving her body with the motion of his hand, fucking his fingers. There were so many ways he could have finished her off right there, but she didn’t want to have sex in the shower so he decided it was time to get out of the fucking shower. 

“Bed, now,” he commanded. She needed to see that he could take charge too when he wanted to. She had seen this side of him a time or two, but it wasn’t very often he really made any demands of her. He could tell from the look on her face that she liked it. 

Gwen turned off the shower and they both grabbed towels and did a terrible, rushed job of drying off. But by the time they made it to the bed and he was fucking her doggy style neither of them cared that their were still dripping wet. Her hair was flying around, all in her face as he slammed into her over and over again. 

No, this was nothing like the sweet and tender first time they’d given Jaime and Brienne. This was hot, erotic, maybe even a bit dirty because he couldn’t resist finishing what he’d started with her asshole in the shower - which was well worth it when she fucking exploded and came all over his dick with a loud, moaning, deliciously sexy, intense orgasm that left him barely hanging on himself. 

He slowed his strokes to feel the pulsating throbs of her pussy on his shaft. He could smell her scent, it filled his nostrils, and his one regret was not diving into that buffet face first - but it was only day two of their quarantine - plenty of time for that and just about anything else he could possibly imagine. 

When he came it was heaven. Balls deep in her slick pussy, his hands gripped her perfect ass - he honestly couldn’t imagine anywhere else he would rather be. 

They were both panting, lying side by side in bed. “Did we just fuck up?” Gwen asked, between gasps. 

“No, we just fucked,” he replied, sitting up a bit to look at her. 

“You know what I mean,” she sighed. He could see the guilt all over her face. 

“Don’t,” Nik said soothingly, stroking her face with the back of his hand. “I told you it’s over.”

Gwen gave him a look. “Not officially.” 

He licked his lips and thought for a moment and then quickly got out of bed and found his briefcase. There was an envelope on top. He pulled it out, grabbed and pen and walked back over to the bed. “These papers were drawn up back in February,” he said softly, showing her the divorce papers in his hand. “I had planned to give them to her, and then this Covid thing took over the world.” He swallowed. “I couldn’t imagine trying to quarantine with her knowing I wanted a divorce - and I thought maybe it was a sign that we should try to work it out. So I did. I tried so hard, but all that time together, all it did was confirm that I was making the right choice.” 

“Why didn’t you give them to her before you came here?” Gwen asked. 

“I needed to get here and see you,” he sighed. “It was all I could think about. I didn’t want to drop a bomb and run away, and I didn’t want to waste anymore time before I could finally see you - so I waited. It was stupid, I know,” he admitted. “But you need to know that you’re my new beginning - if that’s what you want too.” She rolled her eyes but nodded. “I promise I’ll end this as soon as I go home. I’m sorry I put you in a position where you feel guilty.”

“I’m a big girl, I’ll get over it,” she shrugged. He knew she was playing it cool, but it was bothering her more than that. He vowed to make her feel better somehow. 

Nik nodded and then while she watched he signed the divorce papers, officially ending his marriage as far as he was concerned. It would be messy and ugly, but in his heart it was over and he couldn’t change that even if he wanted to. 

He put the paper away and came back to the bed. Nik sat on the edge and looked back at Gwen, lying there with a smile on her lips. She got up and came around to straddle him. “To new beginnings,” she whispered, before finding his mouth. As they kissed and he fell backward with her on top he knew everything that had happened in the last few months was worth it to be exactly where he was right then - right where he was meant to be.


End file.
